What is forgiveness? I remember growing up and being told to be the “bigger” person and despised it. I grew up confused not understanding why I had to let go of the things people did to hurt me. During this time of social distancing and self-reflection, I am having clarity on the art of forgiveness.
First, I would like to say that, forgiveness has nothing to do with the person(s) who hurt you. Forgiving someone is not choosing to forget what they’ve done to you. To me, to forgive simply means to free myself from ways that no longer serve me. I choose to forgive so I can move on and watch my life flourish before my eyes. It is easier said than done, but it is doable. As you probably know, I somewhat recently freed myself from an abusive relationship. After leaving, my emotions ranged from sadness to uncontrollable anger and everywhere in-between. I ended things but I was not yet free.
Up until very recently, I have decided to completely free myself of the pain I endured. I have decided to forgive what he had done. To forgive myself for being afraid and hurting. It was a process.
Methods of Forgiving & Letting Go
- Heart Chakra Affirmations
- Burn & Release: write down what you want to let go of on a piece of paper and burn to release the negativity. Full Moons are great for this ceremony
- Write a letter you will never send
- Remind yourself that whoever hurt you is a direct reflection of them, not you
- Focus on the present
- Be like water, my friend
- Reconnect with yourself and your spiritual self
- Earthing – walk barefoot on the Earth to ground yourself
We cannot control others or what they do to us. But we can control how we react and what we do. When someone has hurt you, take the power away from them. I am not sure who needs to hear this, but they no longer matter. You are living your best life to its fullest and doing better than ever. Let go of anger and resentment for those emotions will hold you down. However, when the emotions pop up journal them, spend time with them to process the feelings. But ultimately, you must let go.
The hardest part of forgiveness to me is learning to forgive yourself. After my abusive relationship, I often became angry at myself for not doing something sooner. I was ashamed and upset that I gave someone that power. Something that is common for domestic violence survivors. First, acknowledge that there are times when we are afraid and don’t make the best decisions and that is okay. Sometimes, people do take advantage of kindness. Be gentle and kind to yourself. Focus on what you can do better now, not all that has happened in the past.
Forgiveness is freeing. Letting go of ill harbored emotion only opens you up to love and your many blessings to come. I will reiterate: Someone’s bad treatment of you is a reflection of how they feel about themselves and view the world. Let that sink in, a little sad for them, yeah? So now release yourself.