Do you remember when you were younger? There was something about having no responsibilities and experiencing everything for the first time. Maybe I am romanticizing it because I’ve only felt that way up until the age of 5.
We often have to grow up quickly for a variety of reasons whether it is family, circumstances, the pressure from those around us. Many of us are straight-up robbed. So at twenty-nine, I am taking the liberty of giving my inner child all that she wants and more.
To be honest, I think that I hide behind the guise of “inner child” so I can feel more adult. Is there anything wrong with maintaining your childlike nature? Children are open to change and challenges, their creativity is massive, and they are always creating. Young children know no fear, they do what they want when they want – no overthinking. They are learning every day and find excitement and joy in what they discover daily. As a writer and someone trying to live life to its fullest, isn’t that what I also aspire to be?
Somewhere along the line, we learn that this childlike nature is negative and immature. We learn to distance ourselves from our joys and passions in exchange to fit in. We are taught to fear the truest parts of ourselves because they would be rejected. When I graduated college, I entered my dark!timeline. I had no idea what was next and naturally, rushed into things that I thought I wanted, things that I thought I was expected to do and I really lost myself for about five years. I remember feeling detached from everything that ever bought me joy. Betraying myself daily in a relationship and was told I was constantly immature because of my interests. Even in work settings, I didn’t know myself because I was constantly trying to live the lives of other people. It was a lot.
Recently, I decided to move further in being my most authentic self. I have picked up hobbies and interests that I lost shortly after I graduated college and I feel like I’ve come full circle. This has led me to reassess every aspect of my life, I have begun to think about what I want to focus my free time on, the types of interactions I want to have, the life I want to live, and the things that are most important for me. It has also given me a chance to think about the relationships I want to form with others.
I’ve been seeing a trend on TikTok about folks around my age and older say that they feel like they are reverting back into their teen self. So why is that? I’m sure there are many reasons, but here is what I think. First, when you are a teen everything you do feels like it’s under a magnifying glass. Judged and ridiculed. That’s what life seemed like. Then there was the fact that you didn’t have your own money. So you couldn’t buy what you wanted. THEN for me, I couldn’t dress how I wanted and couldn’t do my hair as I pleased. It felt like everything was under lock and key. (TMI) I couldn’t even begin shaving when I wanted to and it was miserable.
When you step into adulthood, things change. Suddenly you have your own finances, the older you get the less and less you care about what people think of you. No one is telling you what you can or can’t wear, no one is dictating your life. So of course we begin living the life our child/teen self yearned for. However, these desires can be blocked not only by adults in your childhood, they can also be blocked by so-called societal norms and even toxic partners.
That is why I believe it is imperative to constantly ask yourself, what would younger you think of your life? Would they be happy and looking forward to life? If you have doubt, take frequent mental and spiritual inventory of those you are surrounding yourself with. Your inner child, who lives within you always deserves the happiness they desire. You deserve the type of happiness you desire. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise.
Why I decided to nurture her:
- To help me reset and refind who I am at my core
- For my own healing
- Give my inner child the support and love she lacked
- Seek happiness
- taking back what belongs to me
- my mental health
Ways to nurture your inner child
- Listen to music you loved as a kid
- Watch a childhood fav movie
- Visit a place with a positive memory of chilhood
- Look up at the sky and find shapes in the clouds
- Find ways to laugh more
- Revisit an old hobby
- Have frequent dance parties
Growing up does not mean you have to let go of things important to you. Naturally outgrowing something is one thing, but it’s another to abandon what you love to fit some false idea of adulthood. I am trying to concentrate on the fact that we can create the lives we want. I define what an adult is, what happiness is, and what is success for myself. We all have that power. This is not to say that you won’t face problems, for example, financial hurdles, bad environments, mistakes, and just life, in general, can get in the way. But I take solace in this idea that I create my own life.
How she saved me
My wish when I was younger was to have my own apartment with a cat. I didn’t know any other details, but this part was important. Because of this idea I had since I was a child, I was able to catapult myself out of a bad relationship. In this relationship, I felt horrible every single day. And one night, I was laying in bed in mental agony and thought, “what would middle school me think of my life right now? If she knew this was her fate…would she choose to keep pushing through life?” And the honest answer was no and I realized that my inner child deserved better, I deserved better.
In summary, listen to your inner child, for they speak your deepest truths. Check in with them, ask them if they are getting what they need and want. And if not, see if you can change it because you deserve to be happy. You deserve to wake up most days and look forward to life.
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